The power of “Purpose”

In the last essay on how to be happy, we talked about how I am lacking a purpose. If only I had a purpose I would be much better off I thought. We also quoted Zed from Swat Kats.

Purpose is important, Purpose is all — Zed (Swat Kats)

In the past, I had EA giving me that purpose. And that pretty much guided me to figure out what I needed to do. It was soooo clear to me. I remember once when I was speaking to a friend and she asked me how do I know what I am doing is right. I just knew. I had purpose. She didn’t, that fool, and as a consequence that fool couldn’t make choices as easily as me.

Purpose gave me solutions to pretty much most questions I had. Spend lots of money and travel? Nope. Grind infinitely? Yes. Become great? Yes. Should I feel eternally guilty and keep giving as much as I can like Shindler? Fuck Yes. Should I cook my food and spend more money? Yesish if I end up grinding more. Should I live with roommates and save rent? Yesish (with the idea that it helps me grind more). Should I go to the US? Yes and make more money to give away. Making decisions was easy with “purpose”. EA was important, EA was all. EA was purpose.

If I taboo the word purpose-if I am not allowed to use the word “purpose” no more-, then what EA did for me is give constraints that bounded, an unbounded solution space. It helped me answer questions like “Should I work towards becoming great?” with a resounding YES. No ambiguity.

My parents keep telling me, “marry and have kids you will have purpose in life”. Lol aside, half-assedly I actually agree with them. I think what they prolly mean is that it will help me find solutions to questions. Go to the US? Yes, better life for kids. Earn shit loads of money despite feeling like shit in the US? Yes, good for your kids future. Which location to buy a house? In the neighborhood of the best school. See? Much less ambiguity thanks to purpose constraints.

However, there is still ambiguity. The constraint developed by marrying and having kids, doesn’t tell you which is the best school for your child. Despite knowing that he (my brother) needed to buy the house in the neighborhood of the best school, he was struggling with understanding which the best school was. Nothing a game of Rationalist’s Taboo cannot cure.

Purpose Constraints FTW

Both, having a “purpose” and having constraints seem to do the exact same thing. They both constrain the solution set to help me/us get a non-ambiguous answer to what I/we need to do.

The only difference being, “Purpose” is this all-fancy word that almost feels like everyone should have it. Even Martin Seligman talks about having a purpose (not constraints) and that working with purpose leads to lasting happiness. Whereas, “constraint” just strips away all that fucking magic.

“Purpose” is an awesome word something everyone should strive to have. Where as “Constraint” is a dull-ass word that no one really cares about. I swear there was a halo shining everytime someone said “purpose”. But both of them have the exact same outcome (to constrian). Both of them have the exact same effect.

But the problem still remains

But without purpose constraints, I am fucking lost. Same questions as before, but no answer this time. Should I go to US to do a Masters now? Well umm (read it like Kamal Hasan). You can do all the pros and cons list you want, but you are still the fool without any purpose constraints, and as a consequence you can’t make choices as easily as you did before (without regrets). :(

So, what should I do? I could live in the U.S. - it’d be fun but I’d have to work for a decade or longer just to have the privilege of staying here. I’d be sacrificing what’s left of my youth just to have a more comfortable life when I’m old and unable to enjoy as much. On the other hand, if I went back to India or some other country, I could enjoy my remaining youth right away, but I’d lose the chance to live for the rest of my life in the U.S. I can see pros and cons for both. I genuinely don’t know what to do here. And I’d hate to keep going along with my current path just because I can’t decide. — Thalaivarey

Questions I want to answer next

  1. What does the “solution inside the head” constrain.
  2. How to uncover more of the solution?
  3. Is designing flow level work a dead end?
  4. Can we add constraints now? and how do we add it seemingly non-arbitrarily?

Ideas that came while writing:

“Purpose” is the same as “constraints”, “Purpose” has halo around it.

When I read an stm’s article a few days back, I was like “ok, what next”. Also an STM pointed out in his feedback that “purpose” was the key word and that I should taboo it. I didn’t think too much of it even then.

I didn’t really expect such a “revelation” as I had today. As I was writing a draft for todays essay it suddenly hit me, the essence of his essay, the essence of my essay too. Not-surprisingly an STM had written the exact same revelation in his blog too: “Lack of “Meaning” is due to Lack of Constraints”. Somehow I missed it back then. Somehow I didn’t understand it back then. “Writing makes you understand” nu chumma va sonnanga.

I finally get it now why he was so excited about the first essay. Fuck!